Numbers

I'm 29 years old today.

It's been 15 days since my dad passed away. He was 59.

2 pieces of my heart run and crawl around outside of me.
Noah is 2. Elias is 7 months.

I've been married to my best friend for 5 years, 6 months, and 13 days.

I cried this morning thinking about how this is my 1st birthday without my dad. He would have called me and left a message that said,

"Hi, Becky, it's your dad. Just calling to wish you a happy birthday. I'd love to take you and Chris and the boys out to celebrate if you want. Anytime is good for me. Whatever works with your schedule. No pressure. Love you."

I did get 2 voicemails, 3 birthday cards, 14 text messages, and 65 Facebook posts from other friends and family sending me birthday wishes.

3 is the number of times I cleaned up throw up and washed bed linens from my poor Noah Bear. I used about 47 tissues to wipe 3 snotty noses and lots of salty tears. (I'm SO over this winter cold season!)

But taking care of sick kiddos by a sick mamma was helped by 1 beautiful bunch of flowers from my amazing husband and 1 delicious bouquet of fruit from my sweet friend.

And when I'm sad, thinking about Dad, God brings Psalm 103 to my mind and speaks to my heart about how the darkness and redemption in Dad's life is a testimony to the truth of His Word.

So what do all of these numbers add up to?

Immeasurable blessings.

Infinite opportunities to trust in...to lean hard on the Lord.

I don't know if I'd call this a "happy" birthday. But I am full of hope.

So, hopey birthday to me.