Faith Steps

In the whirl of life with little kids, days and weeks and years can blur together, each one melding with the next. Through the sleep deprived fog I know that I have nursed babies, made meals, washed dishes, beamed joy over my children, wept alone, laughed and cried with friends, and on and on the things that make up daily life.

Most weeks by the time Friday finally finds its way here I can barely remember what happened on Monday. (Most days by dinner I can barely remember breakfast.) But through the blur I can clearly recall one significant day almost three years ago.

It was a Wednesday morning. September 1, 2010 to be exact. Noah, then a toddler, had splashed milk from his cereal bowl all over my jeans, and another kind of milk had leaked through three layers of clothes to the surface of my teal sweater, thanks to the gift of nourishing my two-month-old Elias. But I was already dressed. And I wasn't going to be late this time. So I blotted all the milk as best I could and got my little crew out the door.

I walked into the church sanctuary feeling disheveled and disoriented. Uncertain and intimidated. It was my first time at this new mommy group and I didn't know a soul. But God had prompted me to go. So I went.

I didn't know what to expect. But I was expectant.

So many times I had prayed, Please God, just one real friend. Just one friend to share heart and life and mommyhood with.

I had no idea how God was going to answer that small plea with relational blessings beyond measure.

I could write a whole series on exactly how God used this mommy group to build authentic, life-giving relationships. How I went from feeling lost and isolated,  a new mama floundering alone, to feeling encouraged and hopeful, a mama connected in community and flourishing because of tangible love and support. (And maybe someday I will write more about that.)

But right now I will tell you that this mommy group was a lifeline. A gift. God asked me to step out in faith and when I did, he was faithful to meet my needs. And I am forever changed because of it.

Today is another day I know I won't soon forget, even when the mommy fog rolls in thick. Today, after three years of Wednesday mornings of fellowship with kindred spirits traveling the motherhood journey together, I walked out of that church sanctuary for the last time.

Not because I have stopped being blessed by that ministry or stopped loving those sweet women. But because God is again asking me to step out in faith.

The wonderful mommies at my table with our crazy scarves at our final tea.

He's asking me to take what I've learned about connecting women, encouraging and equipping mamas just like me, and help invest in the beginning years of a new mommy ministry at my home church. I'm excited for what God has planned. But it's hard (really hard) to leave the first place where my heart as a mom found a home.

But I know that the significant relationships I built will last. And I believe there are new moms who will walk through our church doors, not knowing a soul, looking for a friend. Maybe God wants me to be that friend.

I don't know fully what to expect in this next season. But I am expectant.

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What faith steps have you taken? Have you ever given up a blessing? What did God do in the season that followed?