We started meeting in my beige-painted
cinder block dorm room my sophomore year at Long Beach State University. We’d
sit cross-legged on opposite ends of my periwinkle duvet for an hour of weekly
“discipleship.” I guess I expected to learn about God’s Word and the how-to’s
of walking with Jesus. I thought someone more spiritually mature could keep me
accountable in my physical relationship with my boyfriend and my progress with
scripture memory.
But
what Esther really taught me was how to care for someone’s heart.
I doubt that was ever her deliberate “lesson of
the day.” But it’s what she modeled by caring for mine. The way she asked intentional
questions and leaned in to hear the answer. The way she was comfortable in my
uncomfortable silence. The way she wasn’t afraid of my messy past or confused
present.
Esther was just there to be with me.
To hold the brokenness and fears of a straight A
student who may have looked like she had it all together. With her disarming
smile, inviting eyes, and commitment to meet consistently, Esther made space for me to explore who I was, where I had been, and
where Jesus was leading me.
We had been meeting for several months when she
pulled out a little fold-up keyboard and attached it to her Palm. She started typing as we talked and I asked what she was
doing?
“I usually take notes about our time together
later, but what you’re sharing is really important. I don’t want to forget it.”
I must have had a strange look on my face
because Esther quickly added, “I just want to remember how to pray for you and
follow up later on what we’ve talked about. Does that make you feel
uncomfortable?”
“No. Not uncomfortable,” I said wiping the tears
that I couldn’t will to stay welled in my eyes.
“It
makes me feel seen. Loved. Invested in. Like no one ever has.”
It’s been 13 years and Esther has transitioned from a mentor
to a soul sister and life-long friend. But she’s still a difference maker. A
life changer. A love and service leader.
Ann Voskamp writes about the Esther Generation. We, the North American Church, who are tired of being satisfied with comfort and are
ready to be satiated by God. The Esther Generation who is ready to stop giving
minimally to meet the status quo and start giving sacrificially because the
gut-wrenching stats are real people. Who wants to use their excess for a
purpose. Who is God-ordained inside the gates of status, education, access…for such a time as this.
I’m saying Yes! with
Ann. We Jesus believers need to bend low to help our sisters!
But I am also ready for another type of Esther Generation.
To be like my Esther and offer more than a passing “How are you?” and religious
“I’ll pray for you,” and start giving our time, our ears, our arms
sacrificially to invest in each another. I’m ready to influence the many by
influencing the one. The one woman on my block, mom in my playgroup, college
student at my church.
To be a generation of
Esthers and take what I see as my not-enough and still open up my life. To lead by
caring for someone’s heart.
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Linking up with The High Calling to explore the topic of "Leadership Influence: Beyond the Stereotype." And sharing with Barbie's wonderful community at The Weekend Brew.
* * *
Linking up with The High Calling to explore the topic of "Leadership Influence: Beyond the Stereotype." And sharing with Barbie's wonderful community at The Weekend Brew.
4 comments:
Ministering to other women is the most satisfying and important thing God has for us I think. Being discipled and being a disciple is so crucial to our walk with the Lord. We can't do it alone!
"To care for someone's heart" I call it sheltering but the imagery this gives is so beautiful. Sometimes that's the greatest need -- to care for someone's heart. Sometimes practical helps ends up with that care. So. many. hearts. Such a beautiful tribute yet a challenging read. I want to spend my life holding hearts n my cupped hands. ~Pamela
What a beautiful relationship and blessing! I'm so glad I'm next to you this week at Barbie's.
Beautiful post, Becky. I love how the relationship has inspired you to be an influence to others by giving more of yourself. Inspirational. Blessings to you.
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