Better Than a Desert

I hope living with me is better than living in a desert.

This morning I was stirred by the words of Proverbs 21:19:

"Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife."

In general, I think my husband arrives each evening to a happy family and inviting home. I do my best to listen intentionally as he tells me about his day, offer encouragement and praise when warranted, and then share honestly about the joys and challenges I encountered while we were a part. I know that love is an active choice, not a passive feeling. So I seek to love my husband in action and in word.

It can be easy to critique other people's marriages...how they bicker about everything, lack appreciation, or try to control one another. I can be glad that I'm not like her, and then start to feel pretty good about myself. Proud about what a fantastic little wife I am.

But I am not perfect. Not by a long shot.

I am not immune to being defensive, responding with a blatant edge to my tone, and even being plain rude. I have allowed tiredness to be an excuse for not being kind. I've knit picked about things that don't really matter and cared more about being right than being loving.

But this is not the kind of woman I want to be. This is not the kind of wife my husband deserves.

I want to be more like this. And this. And this.

No, I don't have to be perfect. And neither do you.

Just make sure living with you IS better than a desert.