Thursday, March 18, 2010

Changing Dreams

I grew up in a house full of girls—my mom, two sisters, and me. We played dress-up, fought over the bathroom mirror, and got ready for prom. I never imagined myself in a house full of boys. But that's exactly what's about to happen.

Yesterday, we found out that baby #2 is another boy.

I don't want to admit it, but my first reaction to this news was disappointment. I told myself not to get my hopes up, but I was secretly convinced that it was a little girl growing and twirling inside me. I had dreamed of tying pink bows around bouncy pony tails, sipping steamy imaginary tea next to bunny and bear, and teaching my daughter how to make mommy's scrumptious chocolate chip cookies. Fighting back tears, I said goodbye to my dreams.

And then I realized, these were my dreams...

This amazing little person isn't being born just for my joy. He is going to be a wonderful new part of our family. Chris' son and Noah's brother. I started to see glimpses of new dreams. My boys dueling light sabers and building backyard forts. Father-son fishing trips and family mountain hikes. Noah growing up with a constant playmate by his side...two little buddies sharing life's adventures.

Having children is not about fulfilling a parent's dream. It's about welcoming the perfect blessing God has chosen for you. It's about being eager to discover who that child is and how you can come along side to grow them up into the person God created them to be.

Photos like these are helping with my changing dreams.


Anonymous said...

I felt the same way with Kevin's birth--and the minute I held dim I fell in love :) i still like looking at the little spring dresses! but i have LOVED having boys!!! you will too

ant di

Kathy J said...

Well put, Beck. I appreciate the honesty. Those pictures are a wonderful glimpse into your future!

Mrs. Lucero said...

I have had the same feelings. Little boy #2 will also be a sweet blessing for you and your family. :-)